She was sick a very long time...with Alzheimer's...I have written about her before and who she was to me and about her dreaded disease...She slipped away as the years went by, more and more, until all that was left of her was her body...laying in a hospital bed, day in, day out...But I still loved her and needed her and as strange as it sounds, there was still comfort that her body remained...I don't mean that in a cruel way...I wanted her to be whole again...she knew where she was going and I knew where she was going and that I would see her again when my time came... I prayed for the Lord to take her home so that she would be healed...forever...I just didn't realize that I wasn't ready, not really ready to let her go...several people have told me that you never are ready...as much as you think you are prepared, as sick as they may be...to know that on this earth you will never see their precious face again...it makes it so hard to let go...But then there comes that time, that is their time to go...and you don't have a choice...
So for today, I don't have the perfect words, the right tribute... I just have...I love you Mama, I love you still so much...and you were the best Mother to me...an incredible example...a beautiful, beautiful life...lived for the Lord...lived for others...so giving, so kind...I will miss you on this earth until I take my last breath...I thank you for everything you were, to me and others...for everything you gave...my precious, precious Mother...I would not be who i am if it had not been for you...
Good bye sweet, beautiful Connie Jane vanderBrugge Vandenberg ...
10-21-1926 to 2-11-2012...What a beautiful life, inside and out...
I sang "Fly to Jesus" to her many times...and she did.
Your loving daughter,
Marianne
Oh Marianne! This a perfectly lovely tribute to your Mama! I know and understand just how you feel for I felt, and still feel, the same way about mine. What you say is true...you're never ready, and you'll never not miss her. As time goes by the hurt will become less, never totally gone, but less. She lives on in her beautiful, gifted, and loving daughter, Marianne! ♥
ReplyDeleteMarianne, this is a beautiful tribute to your mum - it has really moved me. My Granmee died after having alzheimers and I know what you mean about losing them bit by bit but you are really never ready for that final moment. To love and to be loved is the best we can expect and you and your mum obviously loved each other very much and that precious gift she gave you will live on in your heart always. Take care xxx
ReplyDeleteWords will always seem a pale comparison to what is truly in our hearts. Regardless, your tribute to her is perfect! My heart is with you. ♥ Angi
ReplyDelete